Fliching it out
by The Unread Shelfer
Summary: "How–On my honor, I say–How dare you bring a squib to Hogwarts? Remove me immediately from this boy's head. You shan't insult me further!" The sorting hat roared making the child tremble in humiliation." A one shot collection containing all the Au's, what ifs, different Pov's and everything.
1. Fliching Lies

**_Fliching Lies._**

The Great hall was bustling with students and teachers and what not. He had never seen anything like this. The strange ceiling which made it hard to believe that there even was a ceiling. The golden chandeliers hanging in the air, the candles floating around giving the hall a golden hue as if it was bathing in the light of the ever beautiful sun.

Oh, the unsung beauty of it. Girls and Boys; chattering away, wearing different colors about which he knew nothing but he liked it. He liked everything so far.

The castle, the lake, the train, the teachers, the strange sweets and other things. He was sure he had seen a ghost floating by not before.

And then, she came. It was time for the sorting. He was nervous but not enough to dull the cheer as he found that the hat could sing.

Soon, they started calling names and then it was his turn. He wondered, wondered where would he go. Was he brave? Or was he cunning? Or did he valued loyality or knowledge? He was sure the hat would know.

He waited for the answer but what he hadn't expected was this.

"How–on my honor, I say, how dare you bring a squib to Hogwarts?" It was all he could do to not tremble as every other student craned to look at him, at his face. The silence thickened until the Deputy Headmistress asked, as quietly as possible, "are you sure...? This can't he–"

"Oh, I am sure Minevra, I am sure. This one's a squib, get me off him!" The hat on his head muttered, and he to not to be so unjust, threw the hat off his head with trembling hands as he ran forward in utter humiliation..

How could that happen...

How indeed.

He decided he needed to get going, for all he knew, squibs weren't allowed to even see Hogwarts and he was sure he had done a crime by placing the hat on his head. Oh, he should have told them when he had time. That he didn't had magic.

Tears flowed out of his eyes as he ran but suddenly, suddenly he was jerked up in the air by a invisible force and turned around to find the headmaster walking towards him with his teachers beside him. Dumbledore let's him down.

A small cat was in Headmistress' hands and that's when he realized that it wasn't some cat but his own. He silently cries, hoping that Dumbledore won't hang him by the toes.

Minevra McGonagall hadn't seen or even heard of something like this in her life but then she didn't had a very long life to compare it. She glances at the headmaster and then at the weeping child before speaking, "I think this is yours...it got out while you were running." She handed him the cat delicately.

He takes it, shyly peaking at Dumbledore from behind his lashes. The panic bubbles up inside him.

Albus Dumbledore stares at him, the usual twinkle lost, he gazes at him as if hoping that the answer would appear out of nowhere. At last he sighs, accepting that he didn't had a answer and places his hand on the boy's shoulder, warmly. The Boy flinches, clutching his kitten wildly, he mutters. "Please don't kill me..."

Dumbledore ignores it and says, very gravely, "I am sure we will find something for you Argus."

And Argus, nods shivering while clutching his cat to his heart as it licks his face.


	2. Ford Angelina Potter

_**Ford Angeli**_ ** _na Potter_** __

"Expelliarmus!"

"Avada Kedavra!"

Harry's disarming spell met Voldemort's killing curse halfway. Like their owner's, the wands and spells seemed to be giving it all in this last foray. The silence crippled around them, the only noise was coming from the spells clashing against each other.

It was a surprise to see that not Harry and nor Voldemort was breaking away. In fact, their power seemed to grow and grow. But this shouldn't be happening...

No. Harry should win now. This was the final battle. The good shall win over bad and have a large bottle of firewhisky. That's how it was supposed to be.

But it didn't. Because, Voldemort, albeit now mortal was far. . . Far powerful than a seventeen year old kid. His curse, which Harry Potter managed to contradict, seemed to be now heaving upon Potter again. Voldemort jiggled. For he was already dreaming of the glory!

Until.

Until, a irritating noise, like a old motor seemed to be coming from not far away. From his right, the students made a gap in the crowd as they saw him turning in thier direction.

And Voldemort saw, or rather guessed as it was impossible to believe, a blue muggle car running at full speed right towards him. Its headlights blinking, it's sirens honking. Voldemort had a second to break the connection with Potter and flee from the spot and that second, fortunately and unfortunately, he forgot to take.

The end.

* * *

"What if I'm in Slytherin?"

The whisper was for his father alone, and Harry knew that only the moment of departure could have forced Ford to reveal how great and sincere that fear was.

Harry crouched down so that Ford's face was slightly above his own. Alone of Harry's three children, Ford had inherited Lily's eyes.

"Ford Angelina Potter," Harry said quietly, so that nobody but Ginny could hear, and she was tactful enough to pretend to be not rolling her eyes. We could definitely assume she didn't appreciate the name, "you were named after the bravest car I ever knew."

"But Dad..."

"then Slytherin House will have gained an excellent student, won't it? And tell the hat the house you want, if it doesn't listens tell him "it's still in the jungle". The hat should give you the house you want after that."

"Really?"

"Really," said Harry.

"But who is in the jungle?"

Harry thought back to the waving windshields and honking sirens of the forbidden forest and the last he had seen of it. "Who knows, just tell the hat."


End file.
